There's Something About Cats' Self-sufficiency

The Way I Figure It, If You Can't Tell I'm High By Looking At Me, I Win.

I Used To Be Jealous; I'm Not Jealous Anymore. And A Miracle Happened To Me, Because If You're Jealous, It's A Cancer, It's A Plague On Your Spirit, It Really Is. And I Actually Cured Jealousy In A Very Weird Way - I Cured It With Mathematics. And I'm Not A Math Person At All, But I've Been With My Wife For About Seven Years, So We Have Had Sex Probably, I'd Like To Think, Like, 9 Million Times Or, At Least, 1,500. So, The Way I Figured It, If She Goes Out And Screws Some Other Guy Once - I'm Still Winning.

Some Of You May Be Perfectly Happy With Mediocrity. Some Of You Will Get Nothing But Heartbreak. Some Of You Will Be Heralded As Geniuses And Become Huge. Of Course, All Of You Think That One Describes You...hence The Delusion Necessary To Push On.

I've Had This Look For About A Year. I Usually Grow This Beard Out Around Christmas. I Like To Go To Malls Dressed As Jesus, And I Like To Then Walk Around The Mall And Go, 'no! No! This Wasn't What It Was Supposed To Be About, People!' Then If There's A Santa At The Mall, I Walk Up To Him And Say, 'listen, Fat Man, You're Just A Clown At My Birthday Party.'

You Can't Avoid Pain In Life. It's How You Handle Pain, That's What Defines You.