They'll Always Be An England,

You Know You've Reached Middle Age When Your Weightlifting Consists Merely Of Standing Up.

You Know What A Fan Letter Is - It's Just An Inky Raspberry.

Zsa Zsa Gabor Got Married As A One-off, And It Was So Successful She Turned It Into A Series.

If They Liked You, They Didn't Applaud -- They Let You Live.

Take Nine Strokes Off Your Score. Skip The Last Hole.