Tiger Woods Apologized To The

Don't Call Me When You're Stuck In Traffic. It's Not My Fault That Radio Sucks And Did It Ever Occur To You That There Wouldn't Be So Much Traffic If People Like You Put Down The Phone And Concentrated On The Road... Besides I Can't Talk Now, I'm In The Car Behind You Trying To Watch A Dvd.

I Don't Understand Why The Police Are Infallible. They Remind Me A Lot Of The Catholic Church.

I Have Two Questions About Arnold Schwarzenegger. What Does He Know, And When Will He Know It?

Look At The List Of Liberals Who Are Active In Politics, If Not Running. Barbra Streisand, Sean Penn, Warren Beatty, Springsteen, Spielberg... And Then You Look At The Conservatives, It's Like Chuck Norris, Bo Derek And The Gatlin Brothers. I Don't Know If Being Liberal Makes You More Right, But It Does Seem Like It Makes You More Talented.

I Always Wanted To Be A Comedian, Even When I Was A Little Kid. I Had A Funny Father Who Was In The News Business, By The Way. He Was A Radio News Guy. So The News Was Always In My House, And Funny Was Always In My House. It Was Sort Of Just Baked Into The Dna That I Would Do This For A Living, But I Can Remember Being Less Than 10 Years Old And Dreaming About Being A Comedian.