We Don't Deliberately Set Out

No One Expects The Spanish Inquisition! Our Chief Weapon Is Surprise, Fear And Surprise; Two Chief Weapons, Fear, Surprise, And Ruthless Efficiency! Er, Among Our Chief Weapons Are: Fear, Surprise, Ruthless Efficiency, And Near Fanatical Devotion To The Pope! Um, I'll Come In Again.

In 1945, Peace Broke Out. It Was The End Of The Joke. Joke Warfare Was Banned At A Special Session Of The Geneva Convention, And In 1950 The Last Remaining Copy Of The Joke Was Laid To Rest Here In The Berkshire Countryside, Never To Be Told Again.

You See, I Don't Belive That Libraries Should Be Drab Places Where People Sit In Silence, That Has Been The Main Reason For Our Policy Of Employing Wild Animals As Librarians.

Oh Lord Please Don't Burn Us Don't Kill Or Toast Your Flock. Don't Put Us On The Barbecue Or Simmer Us In Stock. Don't Bake Or Baste Or Boil Us Or Stir-fry Us In A Wok.

She Turned Me Into A Newt. ... But I Got Better.