Well, I'm Not Saying That

I Know The Bible Isn't Real Because It Never Once Mentions Me.

In April 1975 I Was Born And The Vietnam War Ended. I Could Not Let Any American Die In War Before Seeing An Episode Of Scrubs.

Bigger Than The Beatles? Well, How Many Grammys Did They Win? Exactly, None, Yet I Have One, And I've Never Even Released A Cd.

I Never Go Easy On Kids When I Play Board Games. The Sooner They Learn What The Consequence Of Entering A Competition Is, The Better. If They Win, I Punch Them In The Face Like Any Adult.

I Really Like Just Super Dry Comedy.