We're Mexi-cans Not Mexi-can'ts.

I Think We All Feel The Same Things Most Of The Time, We Just Don't Know How To Put It Into Words. When I'm On Stage, I Say It. The Truth Makes People Laugh.

[there's] A Joke That I've Done Forever: 'nowadays They Say That The Largest Majority Of People Will Be Latino And You'll Tell Scary Stories To Your Grandkids: "a Long Time Ago When I Was Growing Up, There Used To Be People Who Were White," And The Kid Says, "really?" And You Say, "yeah, Like The Man Who Cuts Our Grass."' I've Had That Line Forever And I Love It.

I Spend A Lot Of Time Alone And My Wife Understands That I Need To Be Alone. I Enjoy Being Alone. But I'm Never Lonely.

As Latinos, You Want [people] To Come To America - Not Necessarily Latinos, But [anyone Who Wants] To Come Here For A Better Life. That's Kind Of How This Country Was Founded And The History Of This Country.

I'm A Big Fan Of Reality Shows. I Thought The First One, Dukes Of Hazzard, Captured White People Perfectly.