In Every Spoof I Make

The More Serious The Situation, The Funnier The Comedy Can Be. The Greatest Comedy Plays Against The Greatest Tragedy. Comedy Is A Red Rubber Ball And If You Throw It Against A Soft, Funny Wall, It Will Not Come Back. But If You Throw It Against The Hard Wall Of Ultimate Reality, It Will Bounce Back And Be Very Lively. Very, Very Few People Understand This.

Rhetoric Does Not Get You Anywhere, Because Hitler And Mussolini Are Just As Good At Rhetoric. But If You Can Bring These People Down With Comedy, They Stand No Chance.

Basically, I'm A Writer. I'm The Proprietor Of The Vision. I Alone Know What I Eventually Want To Happen On The Screen. So If You Have A Valuable Idea, The Only Way To Protect It Is To Direct It.

Critics Can't Even Make Music By Rubbing Their Back Legs Together.

Oh, I'm Not A True Genius. I'm A Near Genius. I Would Say I'm A Short Genius. I'd Rather Be Tall And Normal Than A Short Genius.