What Else Could I Tell

I Can't Watch The News Anymore. They Have Their Priorities All Out Of Whack. All I See Is Natalee Holloway And Britney Spears And The War In Iraq. Where's The Substantive News? Where's The Zach Braff Coverage?

A Child's Death Is Really Of Less Value Than An Adult's. I Mean, What Could You Really Accomplish In A Year? Not Much, And That's Not Even Talking About, You Know, Pay-wise.

My Job As An Actor Has Inspired Generations Of Children To Become Doctors. My Job As A Writer Has Opened Up The Minds Of Millions. My Job As A Director Has Produced Masterpieces That Will Be Taught In Film School For Ages.

I'm A Busy Guy; I Just Get A Lot Of People That Sound Like Me To Go Out And Visit Them. They Don't Know The Difference And, Let's Face It, They Aren't Going To Be Paying To See My Movies Anytime Soon.

Bigger Than The Beatles? Well, How Many Grammys Did They Win? Exactly, None, Yet I Have One, And I've Never Even Released A Cd.