What Happened To The Winner"

What Hamlet Suffers From Is A Lack Of Zombies. Let Us Say Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Show Up—ho-ho! Now You’ve Got Something That Stirs The, Um, Something That Stirs Things That Are Stirrable. Boom! A Pack Of Ravenous Flesh-eaters Breaks Open Their Heads And Sucks Out Their Eyeballs. No Need For Iambic Pentameter Because They Are Grunting, Groaning Annihilators Of Humanity With No Time For Meter. You’re Not Asleep In The Back Of English Class Anymore, Are You? This Is What I’m Talking About. Zombies. Learn It, Live It, Love It.

- So My Own Sister Will Not Promote Me? Speaking Of Which, Weren't You Supposed To Find Me A Beautiful Future Wife With A Small Fortune? Have You Had Any Success On That Front? - Yes - I Have Warned Them All.

It's Knowing I'll Never Have What She Has--a Beauty So Powerful It Brings Things To You. I Fear I Will Always Have To Chase Things I Want. I'll Always Have To Wonder Whether I'm Truly Wanted Or Whether I've Just Been Settled For.

Careful There, Poet. I Might Start To Believe You.

I Do Not Want To Pass The Time. I Want To Grab Hold Of It And Leave My Mark Upon The World.