What Was The Best Thing

I'll Bet There Aren't Too Many People Hooked On Crack Who Can Play The Bagpipes.

[on School Uniforms] Don't These Schools Do Enough Damage Making All These Kids Think Alike, Now They Have To Make Them Look Alike Too? It's Not A New Idea, Either. I First Saw It In Old Newsreels From The 1930s, But It Was Hard To Understand Because The Narration Was In German.

The Christians Gave Him Sunday, The Jews Gave Him Saturday, And The Muslims Gave Him Friday. God Has A Three-day Weekend.

When You Quit School At An Early Age, I Think You Have A Lifelong Need To Show The World - And Maybe Yourself - That You're Really Smart After All.

Shopping And Buying And Getting And Having Comprise The Great American Addiction. No One Is Immune. When The Underclass Riots In This Country They Don't Kill Policemen And Politicians, They Steal Merchandise. How Embarrassing.