When God Closes One Door,

The Back Windows Looked Out Over The Fields, Then The Atlantic, Maybe A Hundred Yards Away. Actually, I'm Just Making That Bit Up. I Had No Idea How Far Away The Sea Was. Only Men Could Do Things Like That. "half A Mile." "fifty Yards." Giving Directions, That Sort Of Thing. I Could Look At A Woman And Say "thirty-six C." Or "let's Try It In The Next Size Up." But I Had No Idea How Far Away Tim's Sea Was Except That I Wouldn't Want To Walk To It In High Heels.

I Couldn’t Be With People And I Didn’t Want To Be Alone. Suddenly My Perspective Whooshed And I Was Far Out In Space, Watching The World. I Could See Millions And Millions Of People, All Slotted Into Their Lives; Then I Could See Me—i’d Lost My Place In The Universe. It Had Closed Up And There Was Nowhere For Me To Be. I Was More Lost Than I Had Known It Was Possible For Any Human Being To Be.

Failed Relationships Can Be Described As So Much Wasted Makeup. Forget The Laughs, Forget The Fights, Forget The Sex, Forget The Jealousy. But Take Off Your Hat And Observe A Moment's Silence For The Legions Of Unknown Tubes Of Foundation, Mascara, Eyeliner, Blusher And Lipstick Who Died That It Might All Have Been Possible. But Who Died In Vain.

As You Know, I Don't Believe In Fear, Just An Invention By Men So They Get All The Money And Good Jobs.

I Never Wear Flats. My Shoes Are So High That Sometimes When I Step Out Of Them, People Look Around In Confusion And Ask, "where'd She Go?" And I Have To Say, "i'm Down Here.