When Humor Goes, There Goes

The Family. We Are A Strange Little Band Of Characters Trudging Through Life Sharing Diseases And Toothpaste, Coveting One Another's Desserts, Hiding Shampoo, Borrowing Money, Locking Each Other Out Of Our Rooms. . . And Trying To Figure Out The Common Thread That Bound Us All Together.

I Was Terrible At Straight Items. When I Wrote Obituaries, My Mother Said The Only Thing I Ever Got Them To Do Was Die In Alphabetical Order.

I Didn't Fight My Way To The Top Of The Food Chain To Be A Vegetarian.

Kids Have Little Computer Bodies With Disks That Store Information. They Remember Who Had To Do The Dishes The Last Time You Had Spaghetti, Who Lost The Knob Off The Tv Set Six Years Ago, Who Got Punished For Teasing The Dog When He Wasn't Teasing The Dog And Who Had To Wear Girls Boots The Last Time It Snowed.

The Mole Rat Is The Only Rodent Born Without A Fur Coat. With A Good Lawyer, Someone Would Pay For That Little Oversight.