When I Do Something Good,

I'm Looking Forward To Not Being Tired Around My Child. My Father Was Tired A Lot. I Want To Play Ball With My Child Without Having To Grab My Shoulder Because I'm Not Physically Fit. And I Want To Really Teach My Child And Become His Or Her Friend.

Whatever Your Pleasure, I Can Facilitate. You Need Weed, You Need Meth - Hey, You Need Prozac, I'm Your Man. I Know How You White Boys Always Deal With That Depression. I Mean Me Personally, I Don't Understand What You White Boys Are All Depressed About. Hey, You're White! Smile!

Who's Judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul Judging A Singing Contest Is Like Christopher Reeve Judging A Dance Contest!

Wealth Is Not About Having A Lot Of Money; It's About Having A Lot Of Options.

I Never Really Write The Jokes. I Just Sit Down Over A Week Or Two And Try To Figure Out What I Want To Talk About. Once I Narrow That Down, Then I Start Working On The Material, Like "how Do I Make This Stuff Funny?"