When I'm In Front Of

Old Age Is When You Resent The Swimsuit Issue Of Sports Illustrated Because There Are Fewer Articles To Read.

My Best Advice: Fall In Love With What You Do For A Living.

It's No Surprise That Things Are So Screwed Up: Everyone That Knows How To Run A Government Is Either Driving Taxicabs Or Cutting Hair.

I Drink Coffee With My Right Hand, And I Smoke With My Left. But I Talk With Both Hands.

I Use The Cigar For Timing Purposes. If I Tell A Joke, I Smoke As Long As They Laugh And When They Stop Laughing I Take The Cigar Out Of My Mouth And Start My Next Joke.