When Someone You Love Is

I'm Doing 5000 Seat Theaters And Audiences Are Going Nuts, It's Fantastic And It Makes Me Very Happy. I'm Dirty, But Not Like This; I Just Do Comedy That I Find Funny. I'm Working On A New Tv Show For Cable And It's Not Set Up Yet.

I Was Going To Do A Big Radio Show, And I Said To My Driver, 'radio Can Wait, Take Me To The Full House House.' It Literally Was A Drive-by. I Photobombed The Full House House Yesterday. I Took Like 20 Pictures Because I Thought I Didn't Look Good In Any Of These - You Can't See The House! You Gotta Really Show That That's The House!

Met A Girl The Other Nite And Told Her- Before You Can Be With Someone You Have To Know The Value Of Yourself. So Does $200 Seem Reasonable?

I Don't Like The Negative Of Reality Tv - The 'you're No Good, So You Have To Leave, I Choose You, But I Thought You Really Loved Me.' It's All About How Bad People Are And I Just Hate That. I Like Pimp My Ride Where Someone Is Helping Somebody.

Stop It, Stop Lighting Your Butthol On Fire, And Everybody Listen To Me. If You Light Your Ass On Fire, I Hope You Have Boxers Or A Filter Of Somekind, Because If Your A Bareass Person. Not A Lot Of People Have Done This. Stop It. This Is Why. You Can Cauterize Your Asshole Shut, So When You Fart It Has Nowhere To Go And You Can Have A Fart Attack.