Where The Hell Is Chad?

Now That All The Members Of The Press Are So Delighted I Lost, I'd Like To Make A Statement. As I Leave You I Want You To Know -just Think How Much You'll Be Missing. You Won't Have Nixon To Kick Around Anymore Because, Gentlemen, This Is My Last Press Conference.

The People's Right To Change What Does Not Work Is One Of The Greatest Principles In Our System Of Government

Let Us Begin By Committing Ourselves To The Truth To See It Like It Is, And Tell It Like It Is, To Find The Truth, To Speak The Truth, And To Live The Truth.

It Is In That Spirit, The Spirit Of '76, That I Ask You To Rise And Join Me In A Toast To Chairman Mao, To Premier Chou, To The People Of Our Two Countries, And To The Hope Of Our Children That Peace And Harmony Can Be The Legacy Of Our Generation To Theirs.

Listen, I Don't Know Anything About Polygraphs And I Don't Know How Accurate They Are, But I Know They'll Scare The Hell Out Of People.