Why Would Anybody Want A

I Have A Friend Who's Collecting Unemployment Insurance. This Guy Has Never Worked So Hard In His Life As He Has To Keep This Thing Going. He's Down There Every Week, Waiting On The Lines And Getting Interviewed And Making Up All These Lies About Looking For Jobs. If They Had Any Idea Of The Effort And Energy That He Is Expending To Avoid Work, I'm Sure They'd Give Him A Raise.

The First Real Thought That I Had Of Something That I Might Do Was To Write For Car Magazines, Because I Always Had A Car Thing.

That's Why Breakups Take Two Or Three Times- To Build Up Immunity.

What The Hell, I'll Just Eat Some Trash.

Sometimes I Think More Creativity Is Put Into Muffin Recipes Than Into The Rest Of Society Combined.