Why Would Anyone Get Married

It Can Take A Few Months To Get A New 10 Minutes. Usually It Takes Like 10 Times Of Repeatedly Trying Different Variations Of A Joke Until I Land On One I Think Is Really Good.

I'm In A Situation With This Girl That's As Hopeless As Overthrowing The Bush Administration.

I Was Surprised To Learn That Research Showed Arranged Couples Tended To Be Happier In The Long Run.

The Problem Is There's A New Group. I'm Talking About This Tiny Slice Of People That Have Gotten Way Too Fired Up About The Trump Thing For The Wrong Reasons. I'm Talking About These People That As Soon As Trump Won, They're Like, We Don't Have To Pretend Like We're Not Racist Anymore. We Don't Have To Pretend Anymore. We Can Be Racist Again. Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, No, No. If You're One Of These People, Please Go Back To Pretending.

Every Time I've Done Comedy In, Like, Traditional Comedy Clubs, There's Always These Comedians That Do Really Well With Audiences But That The Other Comedians Hate Because They're Just, You Know, Doing Kind Of Cheap Stuff Like Dancing Around Or Doing, Like, Very Kind Of Base Sex Humor A Lot, And Stuff Like That.