Wine, Madam, Is God's Next

Aborigines, N.: Persons Of Little Worth Found Cumbering The Soil Of A Newly Discovered Country. They Soon Cease To Cumber; They Fertilize.

Be As Decent As You Can. Don't Believe Without Evidence. Treat Things Divine With Marked Respect — Don't Have Anything To Do With Them. Do Not Trust Humanity Without Collateral Security; It Will Play You Some Scurvy Trick. Remember That It Hurts No One To Be Treated As An Enemy Entitled To Respect Until He Shall Prove Himself A Friend Worthy Of Affection. Cultivate A Taste For Distasteful Truths. And, Finally, Most Important Of All, Endeavor To See Things As They Are, Not As They Ought To Be.

Wit - The Salt With Which The American Humorist Spoils His Intellectual Cookery By Leaving It Out.

Miss, N. A Title With Which We Brand Unmarried Women To Indicate They Are In The Market. Miss, Misses (mrs.) And Mister (mr.) Are The Three Most Distinctly Disagreeable Words In The Language, In Sound And Sense. Two Are Corruptions Of Mistress, The Other Of Master. In The General Abolition Of Social Titles In This Our Country They Miraculously Escaped To Plague Us. If We Must Have Them Let Us Be Consistent And Give One To The Unmarried Man. I Venture To Suggest Mush, Abbreviated To Mh.

Barometer, N.: An Ingenious Instrument Which Indicates What Kind Of Weather We Are Having.