With Late Night Show I

I Spent My First Two Years At A Small All-male College In Virginia Called Hampden-sydney. That Was Like Going To College 120 Years Ago. The Languages, A Year Of Rhetoric, All Of The Great Books, Western Man Courses, Stuff Like That.

Atheism: The Religion Devoted To The Worship Of One's Own Smug Sense Of Superiority.

There Once Was A Man Name Barack, Whose Re-election Came As A Shock. He Raised The Taxes I Pay, And Then Turned Marriage Gay. And Now He's Coming After Your Glock.

Here's How It Works: The President Makes Decisions. He's The Decider. The Press Secretary Announces Those Decisions, And You People Of The Press Type Those Decisions Down. Make, Announce, Type. Just Put 'em Through A Spell Check And Go Home. The Greatest Thing About This Man Is He's Steady. You Know Where He Stands. He Believes The Same Thing Wednesday That He Believed On Monday, No Matter What Happened Tuesday. Events Can Change; This Man's Beliefs Never Will.

In The Beginning, A Monkey Evolutioned Gay Marriage.