You Can't Be A Doctor

Whatever You Hear At The Barber Shop, Stays At The Barber Shop.

If I Can Tell Someone A Story That Makes Them Bend Over And Laugh, That's Bigger Than Anything Else.

I Get Facials. I Get A Manicure And Pedicure Every Week. I Get My Hair Cut, And I Oil Myself Down From Head To Toe. I Got That From My Brother. I Was So Impressed With How High Maintenance He Was. When He Left The Room, You Could Still Smell Him For An Hour.

I'm Not A Politician, I'm A Comedian. I Know My Limitations.

The Success Of My Comedy Has Been Not Being Afraid To Touch On Subject Matters Or Issues That Everyone Else Is Politically Scared Of.