You Can't Expect A Man

These Are The Three Main Diseases Of This Country, Sir: Typhoid, Cholera, And Election Fever. This Last One Is The Worst; It Makes People Talk And Talk About Things That They Have No Say In ... Would They Do It This Time? Would They Beat The Great Socialist And Win The Elections? Had They Raised Enough Money Of Their Own, And Bribed Enough Policemen, And Bought Enough Fingerprints Of Their Own, To Win? Like Eunuchs Discussing The Kama Sutra, The Voters Discuss The Elections In Laxmangarh.

Do You Know About Hanuman, Sir? He Was The Faithful Servant Of The God Rama, And We Worship Him In Our Temples Because He Is A Shining Example Of How To Serve Your Masters With Absolute Fidelity, Love, And Devotion. These Are The Kinds Of Gods They Have Foisted On Us Mr. Jiabao. Understand, Now, How Hard It Is For A Man To Win His Freedom In India.

I Am Coming Back To New York After Five Years, And It Seems That Psychics Are Taking Over The City.

The Book Of Your Revolution Sits In The Pit Of Your Belly, Young Indian. Crap It Out, And Read. Instead Of Which, They're All Sitting In Front Of Color Tvs And Watching Cricket And Shampoo Advertisements.

Indians Mock Their Corrupt Politicians Relentlessly, But They Regard Their Honest Politicians With Silent Suspicion. The First Thing They Do When They Hear Of A Supposedly 'clean' Politician Is To Grin. It Is A Cliche That Honest Politicians In India Tend To Have Dishonest Sons, Who Collect Money From People Seeking An Audience With Dad.