You Can't Retrieve You Life

When You Have A Baby, You Set Off An Explosion In Your Marriage, And When The Dust Settles, Your Marriage Is Different From What It Was. Not Better, Necessarily; Not Worse, Necessarily; But Different.

When You Slip On A Banana Peel, People Laugh At You. But When You Tell People You Slipped On A Banana Peel, It's Your Laugh.

I Don't Know Why So Much Nonsense About Age Is Written - Although I Can Certainly Understand That No One Really Wants To Read Anything That Says Aging Sucks.

No Man Can Be Friends With A Woman He Finds Attractive. He Always Wants To Have Sex With Her. Sex Is Always Out There. Friendship Is Ultimately Doomed And That Is The End Of The Story.

So, Twice A Week, I Go To A Beauty Salon And Have My Hair Blown Dry. It’s Cheaper By Far Than Psychoanalysis, And Much More Uplifting.