You Can't Fake Comedy -

When You Make Comedy, You Make It For The People And You Try To Have As Many Screenings And As Many Tests And You Do Focus Groups And You Read The Cards And You Try To Give The People What They Want In This Comedy.

And Even If You Get Shot By A Stray Bullet, You Don't Gotta Go To No Doctor To Get It Taken Out, Whoever Shot You Will Take They Bullet Back! "i Believe You Have My Property!"

God Bless America. And No Place Else.

Even If You Meet The Perfect Person, It Ain’t Gonna Be At The Perfect Time. You’re Married, They’re Single. That’s Right. You’re Jewish, They’re Palestinian. You’re A Mexican, They’re A Raccoon. You’re A Black Woman, He’s A Black Man.

I've Told Michael Jackson Jokes. If You Got Really Technical, You Could Say Those Are Jokes About Child Molestation. You Could, If You Got Technical. A Lot Of This Is Just Selective Outrage Because Honestly, The Audience Are The Ones That Tell Us That Something Shouldn't Be Spoken. The Audience Lets Us Know. And I've Never, In My Almost 30 Years Of Being A Comedian, Seen A Comedian Continue To Tell A Joke That The Audience Doesn't Respond To. I've Never Seen It.