You Can't Sleep Until Noon

I Think If You Can Write A Play, Or Produce A Play, The First Step Toward Success [is] If People Don't Want To Kill Themselves In The Lobby. Now There Must Be Four Or Five Other Steps, But That's The First.

Some Enterprising Youth Should Go From Door To Door On Christmas Morning Peddling Batteries.

Dearer To Me Than The Evening Star A Packard Car A Hershey Bar Or A Bride In Her Rich Adorning Dearer Than Any Of These By Far Is To Lie In Bed In The Morning

I'm Not So Sure It's So Civilized To Be Civilized All The Time.

I Make Mistakes; I'll Be The Second To Admit It.