You Got A Gun, You

I've Told Michael Jackson Jokes. If You Got Really Technical, You Could Say Those Are Jokes About Child Molestation. You Could, If You Got Technical. A Lot Of This Is Just Selective Outrage Because Honestly, The Audience Are The Ones That Tell Us That Something Shouldn't Be Spoken. The Audience Lets Us Know. And I've Never, In My Almost 30 Years Of Being A Comedian, Seen A Comedian Continue To Tell A Joke That The Audience Doesn't Respond To. I've Never Seen It.

Oprah Is So Rich, I Saw John Kerry Proposing To Her.

I'm A Nerd. I'm A Little Guy... The Last Guy You'd Expect In A Romantic Movie.

Men Lie The Most. Men Lie All The Time.

I Love My Life, But I Don't Think I'm Any Happier Than My Younger Brother Andre, Who Drives A Garbage Truck.