You Gotta Fight For Your

I Have A Tendency Toward The Pleasures Of The Flesh. It's A Battle For Me, As Far As Weight And Things Like That. But I'm Curbing Them Because I Want To Continue To Do Comedy, And The Two Don't Mix. So I Try To Fight Those Demons.

I Can Get A Great Look At A T-bone Steak By Shoving My Head Up A Bull's Ass But I'd Rather Take The Butchers Word For It.

I Have What Doctors Call A Little Bit Of A Weight Problem.

People Need A Time To Laugh. It's Up To Us To Bonk Ourselves On The Head And Slip On A Banana Peel So The Average Guy Can Say, 'i May Be Bad, Honey, But I'm Not As Much Of An Idiot As That Guy On The Screen.'

I Live In A Van Down By The River.