You Know, In Politics When

I Love Key Lime Pie, Although It's Never Made The Proper Way.

When Every High School Graduate Can Spell The Word, 'inauguration,' Let's Put Lampshades On Our Heads And Listen To His Speeches Until Obama's Voice Gives Out.

When We Live Up To Our Constitution, Let's Form A Conga Line Around The Capitol And Bungee Jump Off The Dome.

I Was Court-ordered To Alcoholics Anonymous On Television. Pretty Much Blows The Hell Out Of The Second A, Wouldn't You Say?

My Mom Said She Learned How To Swim When Someone Took Her Out In The Lake And Threw Her Off The Boat. I Said, 'mom, They Weren't Trying To Teach You How To Swim.'