You Know Who Boehner Is,

Is It Me Or Is President Bush's Life Starting To Sound Like A Country Song. He's From Texas, His Dog Just Died, And It Looks Like He Might Lose His Job. Next Thing, His Truck Is Going To Break Down.

Enron's President, Ken Lay, Passed Away Last Week. So, I Guess Even God Lost Money On That Enron Deal. I Believe The Official Cause Of Death Was Listed As "karma." The Family Asked In Lieu Of Flowers, Please Send Some Elderly Retiree's Entire Life Savings.

Michele Bachmann Said That If She Is Elected President, She Would Consider Eliminating The Department Of Education Because "the States Could Do A Gooder Job.

Martha Stewart Is Now Under House Arrest. So She'll Go To Her $40 Million 153-acre Estate. So She's Going From The Big House To An Even Bigger House.

The Federal Government Said Today They've Begun Training Sessions For Airport Security Workers To Provide What They Call More Customer Satisfaction To The Travels, They Want To Make It Easier For Us. They're Instructing Security Guards To Glance At Your Luggage Tags So That They Can Call You By Your First Name. Isn't That Creepy? The Guy Touching Your Wife, Calling Her By Her First Name.