You Know You're Old When

I Was So Wrinkled I Could Screw My Hats On.

... If I Invested In A Mouthwash Stock, Bad Breath Would Suddenly Become Popular.

Never Go To Bed Mad. Stay Up And Fight.

My Mother-in-law Had A Pain Beneath Her Left Breast. Turned Out To Be A Trick Knee.

I Always Wondered How I Could Tell When The Right One Came Along - But It Was Easy. He Was The Only One That Came Along.