You Know Your Girls Up

You Can't Become Tempted If You Just Give In A Little Quicker.

I Always Thought That If I Got No Love At All Early In My Standup Career, Or I Was God Awful, I Thought I'd Get Into Psychology.

I'm Sure That People Who Have Been Tweeting Funny Things Have Ended Up On Writing Staffs Of A Late Night Show.

We're All Gonna Lie, We're All Gonna Cry, And We're All Gonna Take Painful Shits.

I Got Home From Work Today And Took Like A One Hundred Hour Nap. No You Did Not. You'd Be Very Sick If You Were Taking One Hundred Hour Naps. That's A Coma! If You Said You Took A Coma After Work I'd Be Able To Follow The Story.