You Might Be A Redneck

When You're Young And You Get To Choose Between Sleep And Sex You Take Sex Everytime. You Start Getting Older, You Get To Choose Between Sleep And Sex, You Choose Sleep And Just Hope You Have A Dream About Sex.

As A Comedian I Appreciate Every Kind Of Comedy. You Decide For Yourself What You're Going To Do.

If Your Stomach Blocks Your View Of Your Feet, Cover It Up! The Only People Who Should Be Wearing Belly Shirts Are People Who Don't Have Bellies. Now Those Little Baby Spare Tires Are Kinda Cute; Tractor Tires Aren't! Especially If They've Got Hair On Them!

You Might Be A Redneck If There Are More Than Ten Lawsuits Currently Pending Against Your Dog.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Handkerchief Doubles As Your Shirt Sleeve.