You Might Be A Redneck

We Really Didn't Have The Option Of Being Couch Potatoes When I Was Growing Up. There Were Only Three Television Channels And The Only Kid's Programming Was On Saturday Morning. We Always Played Outside Until We Could Hear Mom Calling Us (not By Cell Phone But With Her Hands Cupped Around Her Mouth) That It Was Dinner Time.

This Happened To Me Last Week. We're In The Process Of Remodeling Our House; We've Been Doing It For A While Now. And We Have The Painters In, Putting Sheets Up Around The Furniture, You Know? And We Have A Piano, Just A Regular, Up Against The Wall Piano. One Of The Painters Said To Me, "is That Y'all's Piano?" I Said, "nah, That's Our Coffee Table, It Just Has Buckteeth! Here's Your Sign!

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Momma Tore Her Best Dress Coon Hunting.

I've Been To All 50 States, And Traveled This Whole Country, And 90 Percent Of The People Are Good Folks. The Rest Of Them Take After The Other Side Of The Family.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Sophisticated Show-biz Cousin Is A Rodeo Clown.