You People Are Not Prepared.

People Can Be More Forgiving Than You Can Imagine. But You Have To Forgive Yourself. Let Go Of What's Bitter And Move On.

On Many Young Actors That Don't Give Their Parents Proper Credit: I'm Still Waiting For Some Actor To Win, Say, An Oscar... And Deliver The Following Acceptance Speech: I Would Like To Thank My Parents, First Of All, For Letting Me Live.

Violence Won't Solve A Thing. It Makes It More Challenging To Solve, Though.

A New Father Quickly Learns That His Child Invariably Comes To The Bathroom At Precisely The Times When He's In There, As If He Needed Company. The Only Way For This Father To Be Certain Of Bathroom Privacy Is To Shave At The Gas Station.

Most Fathers And... Mothers. Only Your Grandmother And Ghengis Khan Know How To Do It.