You Remember What Is Lost,

It Was A Blessing And Also A Curse Of Handwritten Letters That Unlike Email You Couldn’t Obsessively Reread What You’d Written After You’d Sent It. You Couldn’t Attempt To Un-send It. Once You’d Sent It It Was Gone. It Was An Object That No Longer Belonged To You But Belonged To Your Recipient To Do With What He Would. You Tended To Remember The Feeling Of What You’d Said More Than The Words. You Gave To Object Away And Left Yourself With The Memory. That Was What It Was To Give.

What Happened To Me By Myself Felt Partly Dreamed, Partly Imagined, Definitely Shifted And Warped By My Own Fears And Wants. But Who Knows? Maybe There Is More Truth In How You Feel Than In What Actually Happens.

Riley Was Quiet For A Minute. She Gathered Her Blanket All Around Her. "paul Always Loved You, Alice. He Knows I Know That. I Know He Loves Me, Too. But It's Different." Alice Opened Her Mouth, But Nothing Came Out At First. "he Loved Me Once. But I Think That Part Is Over," She Said Slowly. "no, It's Not. It Hasn't Even Begun." Riley Took Alice's Bare Foot In Her Hand And Squeezed It. "i Told Him, Though, That He Better Be Good To You. When You Came Along, I Said I'd Share You, But I Told Him To Remember That You're My Sister. I Loved You First."

I Love Her. I Need Her. I Gave Away Everything I Had For Her. I Just Wanted Her To Know Me.

But Like Everything Else, Love Changed.