You've Got Bad Eating Habits

I Haven't Seen Someone So Overmatched Since Mike Tyson Tried To Recite The Alphabet.

Any Time Your Parent Says They Party With You, That Is Its Own Form Of Child Abuse.

When I Went To College, I Lived On Campus, And The Guys I Hung Out With Made The Characters In Revenge Of The Nerds Look Like The Rat Pack In 1962. I, Myself Made That Kid Booger Look Like Remington Steele.

I Think The American Legal System Sucks Worse Than A Celine Dion Cover Version Of Whole Lotta Love.

The Patriots Deflated Balls Are But An Allegory For America's Deflated Balls In Dealings With Putin, The Mullahs In Iran, And Islamic Terrorists.