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The Longer You Verk Here, Diverse It Gets.

Newsreader: A Huge Asteroid Could Destroy Earth! And By Coincidence, That's The Subject Of Tonight's Miniseries. Dogbert: In Science, Researchers Proved That This Simple Device Can Keep Idiots Off Your Television Screen. [tv Remote Control] Click.

You Might Think The Word "homemade" Is Just A Word We Use As A Marketing Ploy. But What You Don't Realize Is That The Staff Sleeps Here At Night. If Your Tablecloth Is Wrinkled, That's Why.

The Children Are Our Future. And That Is Why, Ultimately, We're Screwed Unless We Do Something About It. If You Haven't Noticed, The Children Who Are Our Future Are Good-looking, But They Aren't All That Bright. As Dense As They Might Be, They Will Eventually Notice That Adults Have Spent All The Money, Spread Disease, And Turned The Planet Into A Smoky, Filthy Ball Of Death. We're Raising An Entire Generation Of Dumb, Pissed-off Kids Who Know Where The Handguns Are Kept. This Is Not A Good Recipe For A Happy Future.

Never Base Your Budget Requests On Realistic Assumptions, As This Could Lead To A Decrease In Your Funding.