You're Not A Star Until

(on Ingrid Bergman) "i Didn't Do Anything I've Never Done Before, But When The Camera Moves In On That Bergman Face, And She's Saying She Loves You, It Would Make Anybody Feel Romantic."

(on Bette Davis) Even When I Was Carrying A Gun, She Scared The Be-jesus Out Of Me.

Ain’t Nothing A Man Can’t Do If He Believes In Himself.

The Whole World Is About Three Drinks Behind.

I Hate Funerals. They Aren't For The Guy Who's Dead. They're For The Guys Who Are Left Alive And Enjoy Mourning.