A Car Alarm Is A

I Saw A Transvestite Wearing A T-shirt That Said 'guess'.

I Didn't Play Music, Nobody In My Family Had An Instrument Or Played Music, We Didn't Even Have Any Books At My House. I Think About It And I'm Like, I Don't Know How I Climbed Out Of There.

I'm Very Hip-oriented. I Focus On Hips In My Comedy - Probably More Than Any Other Hipster Comic Who Is Out There Hipping Today. My Hips, Other Hips. I Work With My Hips A Great Deal. That Is What I Do. But Not In A Gay Way.

My Plumbing Is All Screwed Up. Because It Turns Out, I Do Not Own A Garbage Disposal.

I Still Like Paper Books. Like, Book Is A Flammable Object. After You Read It, You Could Use It To Get Warm. Or It Could Become A Pile Of Napkins.