I Still Like Paper Books.

My Friend Says Touche Way Too Much. He's A Touche Bag.

To Make A Squirrel Look Less Uptight, Put Tiny Sunglasses On It.

The Shortest Distance Between Two Idiots Is A Conga Line.

I Was Eating Some Candy And Looked On The Wrapper, And It Said Made From Natural And Artificial Flavors. You Could Just Say Flavors.

Sometimes If I Really Want To Get Someone's Attention, I'll Start A Sentence With Something Like, "i'm Not Racist, But..." I Say, "i'm Not Racist, But You Look Great Today." They Say, "that Wasn't Racist At All." I Said, "i Know. I Said I'm Not Racist. You Never Listen. Typical Mexican."