A New Study Found That

This Morning My Dad Called Me Up And Said, 'so, Tonight's Your Last Show, Huh.' And I Said, 'no, Dad, That's Someone Else.'

The Big News Is The Midterm Elections. Last Night Republicans Picked Up A Dozen Seats In The House To Give Them Their Biggest Majority Since World War Ii. Or As They Put It, 'time To Party Like It's 1939!'

Don't Keep Reaching For The Stars Because You'll Just Look Like An Idiot Stretching That Way For No Reason.

Researchers In Canada Say They Have Discovered The Part Of The Brain That Is Used To Make Decisions, And This Is Weird: If You're Married, It's Actually Located In Your Wife's Brain.

Director Ken Burns Revealed That His Next Documentary Is About Franklin Roosevelt, And It's Fourteen Hours Long...which Sounds Like Too Much, Until You Realize There's Been Over Thirty Hours Of Tv Dedicated To Honey Boo Boo.