A Pessimist Sees The Glass

Hating The Yankees Is As American As Pizza Pie, Unwed Mothers, And Cheating On Your Income Tax.

Anyone Who Contributes To The Defense Fund Of Pornographers Is A Mental Moonbeam.

A Pessimist Sees The Glass As Half Empty; A Cub Fan Wonders When It's Gonna Spill.

All That Proves Is That Most Of The World Is Too Poor To Build Bowling Alleys, Golf Courses, Tennis Courts And Baseball Fields. There's Hundreds Of Millions Of Poor People Out There Who Still Ain't Got Indoor Plumbing, But That Don't Mean There's Something Great About An Outhouse. Soccer Is Boring. I've Never Seen A More Boring Sport.

If God Dislikes Gays So Much, How Come He Picked Michelangelo, A Known Homosexual, To Paint The Sistine Chapel Ceiling While Assigning Anita Bryant To Go On Television And Push Orange Juice?