According To Cnn, Donald Rumsfeld

Thanksgiving, When The Indians Said, "well, This Has Been Fun, But We Know You Have A Long Voyage Back To England".

Clinton Vetoed The Repeal Of The Marriage Tax. I Guess Bill Figures If He's Married, Then We All Have To Suffer.

More And More Details Coming Out Now About Spoiled Rich Kid Osama Bin Laden. Time Reports This Week He Was One Of 52 Kids. Mother Must Be Exhausted. This Guy Inherited $80 Million At Age 13 And Has Since Expanded It To $300 Million Through Construction, Smart Investments And Gas And Oil Investments. This Way, He Can Use The Money In His War Against Capitalism.

Remember The Good Old Days When The Only Bomb You Had To Worry About On A Plane Was The Rob Schneider Movie?

Border Agents Have Now Been Issued Air Guns That Shoot Pepper Balls At People Coming Across The Mexican Border. Have They Thought This Through? Is That Going To Bother People From Mexico? Pepper Balls? Don't These People Eat Jalapenos? Isn't That Like Firing Meatballs At An Italian Guy?