Airline Hostesses Show You How

Have You Ever Seen That Guy Who Has The Record For Fattest Man In The World? Bob Hughes, The Fattest Man In The World... 1400 Pounds. Ladies And Gentlemen, The Man Has Let Himself Go.

There Is No Such Thing As An Attention Span. There Is Only The Quality Of What You Are Viewing. This Whole Idea Of An Attention Span Is, I Think, A Misnomer. People Have An Infinite Attention Span If You Are Entertaining Them.

Nothing In Life Is Fun For The Whole Family. There Are No Massage Parlors With Ice Cream And Free Jewelry.

A Movie Is Kind Of Like Being The Captain Of A Ship, Which Is Nice, But When I Perform By Myself It's Just Surfing On The Water And Nobody Really Knows What Happens.

I Don't Want To Hear The Specials. If They're So Special, Put 'em On The Menu.