Alcoholic: Anybody Who Drinks More

Reality Is An Illusion That Occurs Due To The Lack Of Alcohol.

How Is The Human Race Going To Survive Now That The Cost Of Living Has Gone Up Two Dollars A Quart?

I Once Donated A Pint Of My Finest Red Corpuscles To The Great American Red Cross And The Doctor Opined My Blood Was Very Helpful; Contained So Much Alcohol They Could Use It To Sterilize Their Instruments.

I've Been On A 46-year Diet Of Olives And Alcohol. The Latter I Consume. The Former I Save And Use Over Again In More Alcohol. In My Lifetime, I Imagine, I Have Consumed At Least $200,000 Worth Of Whisky.

I Feel Like A Midget With Muddy Feet Had Been Walking Over My Tongue All Night.