All Publicity Is Good, Except

Critics Are Like Eunuchs; They Can Tell You What To Do, But They Can't Do It Themselves!

A General And A Bit Of Shooting Makes You Forget Your Troubles ... It Takes Your Mind Off The Cost Of Living.

I Think Weddings Are Sadder Than Funerals, Because They Remind You Of Your Own Wedding. You Can't Be Reminded Of Your Own Funeral Because It Hasn't Happened. But Weddings Always Make Me Cry.

Critics Are Like Eunuchs In A Harem; They Know How It's Done, They've Seen It Done Every Day, But They're Unable To Do It Themselves.

The Only Thing I Envy In Young People Is Their Livers.