Anyone Who Is Friends With

There Are Two Kinds Of People I Don't Trust: People Who Don't Drink And People Who Collect Stickers.

If You Wait Too Long In Vegas, You End Up With A Chicken Finger In Your Underwear.

It's Like Being A Stand-up Comedian Is What Leads To Being A Talk-show Host. That Life Is Not Cut Out For A Woman, Being On The Road At These Disgusting Hotels. What Girls Want To Do That? Gross Guys Want To Do That. I Think That The Dearth In Female Comics Is Just The Nature Of The Business, But There Certainly Isn't A Dearth Anymore, So I Think It's Just Silly.

Men Don’t Realize That If We’re Sleeping With Them On The First Date, We’re Probably Not Interested In Seeing Them Again Either.

Reality Tv's Pretty Tricky For Me. I Don't Really Watch Anything Like That, Because I Think It's Brain-sucking.