As A Comic, I Think

Everything I Ever Learned I Was Told By Someone Else.

I Like Birthdays Because We Celebrate Life With Cakes. It's So Cool. Sometimes When I See A Baby, I'm Like That Much More Cake In The World. But Then When Someone Dies, I'm Like The Cake Streak Is Over.

When I Am Holding A Water Balloon, So Many Things Look So Unnecessarily Dry.

I Thought I Would, You Know, Go To College, Get To Law School, Finish, And Then Get A Job And Work As A Lawyer, But That Proved To Be Not A Good Fit For Me.

A Parade Looks Like A Bunch Of People Are Excited About Being In Traffic.