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President Bush Spent Last Night Calling World Leaders To Support The War With Iraq And It Is Sad When The Most Powerful Man On Earth Is Yelling, 'i Know You're There, Pick Up, Pick Up.

Maria Shriver Is Credited With Helping Arnold Win By Standing By Him Despite Allegations Of Groping. She Had To Stand By Him Cause Arnold Had A Vice Grip On Her Left Ass Cheek.

Over Ten Thousand People Have Signed A Petition To Recall Governor Schwarzenegger. I'm Sorry, That Is Next Year's Joke.

Tom Ridge Now Says We Don't Have To Run Out And Put Plastic Sheets All Over The House. Great, Tell That To My Dead Parakeet.

Singer Boy Dylan Was Stopped At His Own Sow By Security Guards Who Failed To Recognize The Singer. Asked To Comment, Dylan Replied, 'i Can Hardly Blame Them. Look At Me.'