By The Age Of Six

Never Get On An Airplane If The Pilot Is Wearing A Hat That Has More Than Three Pastel Colors.

The Only Thing High-definition Television Will Do Is Provide Sharper Images Of The Garbage.

Where Does The Dentist Go When He Leaves The Room?

People Have Material Needs, But You Don't Need A Deodorant For Every Different Day Of The Week. You Don't Need Four Hundred Varieties Of Mustard. This Is What I Call Too Many Choices. There Are Too Many Choices In America.

Regarding Jam Sessions: Jazz Musicians Are The Only Workers I Can Think Of Who Are Willing To Put In A Full Shift For Pay And Then Go Somewhere Else And Continue To Work For Free.